【Destiny 2】Book: The Man They Call Cayde - Bad Beat

Been trying hard to give you a sense of what matters to me, but also to find a way to talk about the things that, uh… that scare me. "Thing," really—singular. And that thing is… loss. Losing. I'm a poor loser, I admit it. I run from it. Full speed. Others don't. Others accept it. But everything I said about my Queen is true; she is my shield.

 

She is also a lie.

 

I don't know when I made her up. Or better… I don't know when I decided to believe in a life I don't know and can never truly own. Was it during this life? Was my rebirth as a Guardian—or the void of everything I was before—what drove me to invent comfort? Possible. Even likely. But I'm not sure.

 

I do have flashes of memory of the life I had before I was a Guardian, but that's all they are, flashes—quick flickers of people and places in my dreams or in that space between a bullet and getting rezzed.

 

I see a woman there, and she's all I've ever known of a life long since gone. I feel love for her. Is that love a memory, or am I simply loving the memory? I've convinced myself of the former. I've concocted a truth to make myself whole.

 

The kid. The woman. I do not know them. They are not real.

 

But I wish I did. And I wish they were.

 

They're just the two best cards I could find to keep up my sleeve when the odds were stacked against me.

 

I made them real in my mind and in my heart.

 

I fell in love with the idea of them, and I crafted a truth that allowed me to feel.

 

In truth, it was selfish.

 

When I came to for the first time, I felt so alone. Broken. My Ghost tried to comfort me. But this life felt hollow. So I ran.

 

But the flashes… Like daydreams, they promised something more. Something other than suffering and war. So I clung to them. And I built my truth. And it made me a better man.

 

Some would dispute that fact. Some would say, "A good man who lies to himself is good only because he hides from the truth." But I disagree. I think, in this world, you need to find what is best in you and cling to it. That's all I did. I found what moved me, and I fought for it.

 

Without Ace, and without my Queen to listen to me, to hear me, to see me… there's no telling who I would've become.

 

But I know.

 

And I know there's a chance it wouldn't have been very nice.

 

So that's what I am offering to you here: a chance. Look at my life. Look at the things I've said, the things I've done. See how the promise of a simpler life and true, pure love—even if it was all just a game—see how it drove me, directed me…

 

Now go find your own.

 

I know this confession isn't as clean as you may like, but then again…

 

It's not a confession.

 

It's a warning.

 

Find the path to your best self and walk it. Because the alternative is a lonely road. Don't you ever forget it.

 

Otherwise, I may just have to come back.

 

And kick your ass.

 

See ya later, pal.

 

—Cayde-6

 

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당신에게 나에게 중요한 것에 대한 감각을주기 위해 열심히 노력했습니다. 또한, 저를 겁주는 것들에 대해 이야기 할 방법을 찾기 위해 노력했습니다. "사물"은 정말 단수입니다. 그리고 그것은 ... 손실입니다. 지는. 나는 불쌍한 패배자라고 인정합니다. 나는 그것으로부터 도망 친다. 전속력. 다른 사람들은 그렇지 않습니다. 다른 사람들은 그것을 받아들입니다. 하지만 여왕에 대해 내가 말한 모든 것은 사실입니다. 그녀는 나의 방패입니다.

그녀는 또한 거짓말입니다.

내가 언제 그녀를 만들 었는지 모르겠어요. 아니면 더 나은… 내가 알지 못하고 진정으로 소유 할 수없는 삶을 언제 믿기로 결심했는지 모르겠습니다. 이 생 동안 이었나요? 내가 수호자로 다시 태어나거나 이전에 있었던 모든 것의 공허함이 위로를하게 만든 계기는 무엇 이었습니까? 가능한. 가능성이 있습니다. 하지만 잘 모르겠습니다.

나는 수호자가되기 전의 삶에 대한 기억을 떠올리지 만, 그게 전부입니다. 꿈속의 사람과 장소, 총알과 재 탄생 사이의 공간에서 빠르게 깜박입니다.

나는 거기에서 한 여자를 봅니다. 그리고 그녀는 내가 사라진 지 오래 전부터 알고있는 모든 것입니다. 그녀에 대한 사랑을 느낍니다. 그 사랑은 기억입니까, 아니면 단순히 기억을 사랑합니까? 나는 전자를 확신했습니다. 나는 자신을 온전하게 만들기 위해 진실을 만들어 냈습니다.

꼬마. 그 여자. 나는 그들을 모른다. 그들은 진짜가 아닙니다.

하지만 그렇게했으면 좋겠어요. 그리고 나는 그들이 그랬 으면 좋겠다.

그들은 나에게 배당률이 쌓였을 때 내 소매를 유지하기 위해 찾을 수있는 최고의 카드 두 장일뿐입니다.

나는 그것들을 내 마음과 마음으로 현실화했습니다.

나는 그들에 대한 생각에 빠져서 내가 느낄 수있는 진실을 만들었습니다.

사실 그것은 이기적이었습니다.

처음 왔을 때 너무 외로웠어요. 부서진. 나의 고스트는 나를 위로하려고 노력했습니다. 그러나이 삶은 공허함을 느꼈다. 그래서 나는 달렸다.

그러나 섬광… 백일몽처럼 그들은 더 많은 것을 약속했습니다. 고통과 전쟁 이외의 것. 그래서 나는 그들에게 매달렸다. 그리고 나는 내 진실을 세웠다. 그리고 그것은 나를 더 나은 사람으로 만들었습니다.

일부는 그 사실에 이의를 제기 할 것입니다. 어떤 사람들은 "자신에게 거짓말을하는 착한 사람은 진실에서 숨어서 선하다"고 말할 것입니다. 하지만 동의하지 않습니다. 나는이 세상에서 자신에게 가장 좋은 것이 무엇인지 찾아서 그것에 집착해야한다고 생각합니다. 그게 내가 한 전부입니다. 나는 나를 감동시킨 것을 발견하고 그것을 위해 싸웠다.

에이스없이, 내 말을 듣고, 내 말을 듣고, 나를보고 ... 내가 누구가 될지 말할 수 없습니다.

하지만 알아요.

그리고 나는 그것이 그다지 좋지 않았을 가능성이 있다는 것을 알고 있습니다.

이것이 제가 여러분에게 제공하는 것입니다. 기회입니다. 내 삶을보세요. 내가 말한 것, 내가 한 일을보세요. 단순한 삶과 진실하고 순수한 사랑에 대한 약속이 어떻게 게임에 불과 했더라도 그것이 어떻게 나를 이끌고 나를 이끌 었는지보십시오…

이제 자신의 것을 찾으십시오.

이 고백이 당신이 좋아하는 것만 큼 깨끗하지 않다는 걸 알아요.하지만 다시 ...

고백이 아닙니다.

경고입니다.

최고의 자아를 향한 길을 찾아 걸어보세요. 대안은 외로운 길이 기 때문입니다. 잊지 마세요.

그렇지 않으면 다시 돌아와야 할 수도 있습니다.

그리고 엉덩이를 걷어차십시오.

나중에 봐, 친구.

-케이드 -6

 

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Reference

www.ishtar-collective.net/entries/bad-beat#book-the-man-they-call-cayde

Bad Beat — Lore Entry — Ishtar Collective — Destiny Lore by subject

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