【Destiny 2】Book: The Man They Call Cayde - Bluff

I don't play well with loss. I just don't. It's something I tend to avoid. Actively.

 

It's weird, but… that's where my Queen comes in. And before you make a Reef joke, or mention that witch and her Witches, or her mopey little brother… Don't.

 

My Queen is not THAT Queen.

 

My Queen is love.

 

My Queen is my heart.

 

My Queen is… hard to explain.

 

She is my memory of love. My understanding of it… only exists through her.

 

But she's not here. She's long gone. So I cling to the feeling I get when imagining her, and when I do… I am oh so content.

 

But it's a struggle.

 

We lose so much in this life. Any life. All lives, really…

 

But this life… This Last-Safe-City, end-of-all-things kinda life…?

 

Even when we win, it seems like all we do is lose.

 

Scratch that. I don't believe that. If there's one thing I'm not, it's a defeatist. I mean, I defeat. I definitely defeat. One might even say defeating things is my job. ONE of my jobs. One of MANY.

 

What's not my job is pessimism. Just not my thing. I'm a high-octane optimist and nothing but hugs. Mostly. Not always. Always gets annoying. But mostly… I'm the life of the party.

 

Not that you could tell from all this woe-is-me soul baring I've been laying on thick for, what, eleven entries now? Ten? In fact, at this point, if you're still listening, you're a braver soul than I.

 

But, where was I? Oh, yeah…

 

Optimism.

 

I'm full of it. Amongst other things, if certain unnamed individuals are to be believed. But, yeah… Each new day we're here is one heck of a reward… Heck of a win. And we should own that. Enjoy it. Embrace it. But never take it for granted.

 

Heh. Had a Warlock friend who used to say, "Take it for granite." Like the rock. Like g-r-a-n-i-t-e. Smartest guy I've ever known, but maybe he wasn't, ya know? "For granite." Heh. Almost as dumb as his catchphrases.

 

Come on, Cayde. Stay on target…

 

Each new day. Helluva thing. Embrace it. Enjoy it. But never forget…

 

It's a hard life.

 

And when friends fall. When brothers fade. When your Queen… When…

 

When we lose the things that matter… Well, a lotta people can use that—own it. That pain. That loss. They find a way to motivate—to celebrate.

 

For all my charms, seeing the good in the gone ain't one.

 

And my Queen helps me through that. Because I believe she was something special. She was good. She had to be. And I… Yeah, I do. So damn much.

 

When the others I've lost along the way start to weigh me down, I think of her, and she just overwrites everything else.

 

That's how strong her pull is. That's how big the hole she left is… Massive. It devours.

 

She swallows all other bad things. Not sure it's healthy, the way I deal with loss. But it's my way. It's what works for me. And it makes me happy. Thinking of her…

 

Makes. Me. Happy.

 

And the loss fades away.

 

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나는 패배를 잘하지 않는다. 난 그냥. 최선을 다해 피하는 경향이 있습니다.

이상 하긴하지만… 그곳이 내 여왕이 들어오는 곳입니다. 리프 농담을하거나 그 마녀와 그녀의 마녀, 또는 그녀의 작은 동생을 언급하기 전에 ...하지 마세요.

나의 여왕은 그 여왕이 아닙니다.

나의 여왕은 사랑입니다.

나의 여왕은 나의 마음입니다.

나의 여왕은… 설명하기 어렵다.

그녀는 나의 사랑의 기억입니다. 나의 이해는 그녀를 통해서만 존재합니다.

그러나 그녀는 여기에 없습니다. 그녀는 오래 전에 사라졌습니다. 그래서 나는 그녀를 상상할 때 느끼는 느낌에 집착하고, 그렇게 할 때 ... 나는 너무나 만족 스럽습니다.

그러나 그것은 투쟁입니다.

우리는 이생에서 많은 것을 잃습니다. 모든 삶. 모든 생명, 정말 ...

하지만이 삶은 ...이 마지막 안전한 도시, 모든 것의 끝은 일종의 삶 ...?

우리가 이기더라도 우리가 하는 모든 것은 지는것 같습니다.

스크래치. 나는 그것을 믿지 않는다. 내가 아닌 것이 하나 있다면 그것은 패배자입니다. 내 말은, 내가 패배했다. 나는 확실히 패배합니다. 물건을이기는 것이 내 일이라고 말할 수도 있습니다. 내 직업 중 하나. 많은 것들 중의 하나.

내 직업이 아닌 것은 비관론입니다. 내 것이 아닙니다. 나는 옥탄가가 높은 낙천주의 자이며 포옹에 불과합니다. 대개. 항상 그런 것은 아닙니다. 항상 짜증이납니다. 하지만 대부분 ... 나는 파티의 삶입니다.

내가 지금까지 11 개의 항목을 위해 두껍게 누워 있던이 모든 비애가 영혼을 드러내는 것으로부터 당신이 말할 수있는 것은 아니 었습니까? 십? 사실,이 시점에서 당신이 여전히 듣고 있다면 당신은 나보다 용감한 영혼입니다.

하지만 나는 어디에 있었습니까? 오 예…

낙천주의.

나는 그것으로 가득 차있다. 무엇보다도 이름이없는 특정 개인을 믿어야하는 경우. 하지만, 그래 ... 매일 우리가 여기있는 날마다 하나의 보상이 있습니다. 정말 승리입니다. 그리고 우리는 그것을 소유해야합니다. 그것을 즐기십시오. 그것을 받아들이십시오. 그러나 그것을 당연시하지 마십시오.

헤. "화강암으로 가져 가라"라고 말하던 워록 친구가있었습니다. 바위처럼. g-r-a-n-i-t-e처럼. 내가 아는 사람 중 가장 똑똑한 사람이 아닐 수도 있겠죠? "화강암 용." 헤. 그의 캐치 프레이즈만큼 멍청 해.

어서, 케이드. 목표에 머물러…

매일 매일. Helluva 것. 그것을 받아들이십시오. 그것을 즐기십시오. 하지만 잊지 마세요…

힘든 삶입니다.

그리고 친구가 쓰러 질 때. 형제가 사라질 때. 당신의 여왕이 ... 언제 ...

중요한 것을 잃어 버리면… 음, 많은 사람들이 그것을 사용할 수 있습니다. 그 고통. 그 손실. 그들은 동기를 부여하는 방법, 즉 축하하는 방법을 찾습니다.

내 모든 매력을 위해, 사라진 좋은 것을 보는 것은 하나가 아닙니다.

그리고 나의 여왕은 그것을 통해 나를 도와줍니다. 그녀가 특별한 사람이라고 믿기 때문입니다. 그녀는 좋았습니다. 그녀는 그래야만했다. 그리고 저는 ... 예, 그렇습니다. 너무 많이.

내가 잃어버린 다른 사람들이 나를 짓 누르기 시작하면 나는 그녀를 생각하고 그녀는 다른 모든 것을 덮어 씁니다.

그것이 그녀의 당김이 얼마나 강한 지입니다. 그것이 그녀가 남긴 구멍이 얼마나 큰지… 삼켜 버립니다.

그녀는 다른 모든 나쁜 것들을 삼킨다. 내가 손실을 다루는 방식이 건강한지 확실하지 않습니다. 하지만 내 방식입니다. 그것은 나를 위해 일하는 것입니다. 그리고 그것은 나를 행복하게합니다. 그녀를 생각하면…

나는 행복을 만들것이다.

그리고 손실은 사라집니다.

 

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Reference

www.ishtar-collective.net/entries/bluff#book-the-man-they-call-cayde

Bluff — Lore Entry — Ishtar Collective — Destiny Lore by subject

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